Getting it right the third time.

I don't want to get too heavy with this, but while I've been out of action the last week, I've been having a small bit of crisis.  Everyone has them, especially when things are going slower than anticipated.  It's not a nice feeling when you start to question yourself, instead of just questioning in general.  "Why?" is a lot healthier than "Why me?", etc.

So of all places, I was amazed to have my turn-around at my cousin's first holy communion; there's no laying-of-hands story here, fret not.  It was being held at his school's church, and my Dad and I were sat outside in the sun, leaving the pews for the holy and listening to the proceedings through inefficient speakers.  At the end of it all I had a bit of a surprise when I bumped into an old university friend, also present for a cousin's first communion.  We got to talking, and he was really excited to hear that I had started a career for myself in games development.  He told me about the Turtles arcade machine (!) he's buying for his recording studio and we talked in circles about Sierra adventure games and arcade machines until we had to gravitate towards our separate families.

I thought about this chance encounter after the fact, and realised that for a while now I've been using my energy - a lot of my energy - to convince people that being self-employed, in the games industry, is going to work for me.  At the end of the day, I settle with admitting to self-employment with work in the family business and my music background carrying my bills and leave the battle not necessarily defeated but so friggin' tired.  I've spent so much time and effort into convincing people that I'm being successful, that I end up using all of the energy I need to actually be doing the things I need to be successful.

And then I talked with my drummer friend, and I didn't have to use up anything at all.

So at the end of this?  I will surround myself with people who are interested in what I do.  Not interested because it's me that's doing it, that doesn't cut it.  I'm going to look for the people who listen to what I'm about and dig it, and I will hold on to them like they're the last bit of gold in the earth, because those are the people who are going to get me beyond the finish line.

In other cringe-worthy news, poor Arthur's getting the snip this Thursday.  Poor guy won't even know what they're for before he loses them.

-Anthony

okay, okay... fourth time lucky